ONE IF BY LAND, TWO IF BY SEA

End of another month; a good time to clear-up accumulated tidbits from under the corners of the desk blotter:

SOMEONE MAY GET IT RIGHT (EVENTUALLY): Investigators poring through the ruins of the lost Mayan civilization of Mexico claim they've uncovered a "second" reference to the Apocalypse predicted for the winter's Solstice next year, December 21, 2012. Experts had previously claimed the existence of just one reference, on a stone tablet uncovered from the ruins of Tortuguero on the Gulf coast. But over the weekend, Mexico's National Institute of Anthropology confirmed the existence of another reference amongst stone carvings at the Mayan ruins of Comalcalco in southern Mexico. - It was just over a month ago that California based evangelical broadcaster Harold Camping scored "0 for 3" when once again the world refused to end as he'd three times before predicted. After his initial "miscalculation" in the 1990's, the Reverend Camping claimed (as God is my witness) that May 21, 2011 would be Judgement Day. - Then, when it did not, he said the actual day of reckoning would be October 21: That day too passed without incident. Someone is bound to score...

ENJOY THAT MIDDLE SEAT IN COACH: First-Class and Business-Class passengers make-up just about 8% of all airline traffic; but they account for almost one-third of revenues for an industry which is once again profitable after languishing for more than a decade. Ten years  which claimed many of the carriers through bankruptcy. Though the airlines still manage to squeeze the very last penny from the vast majority who fly the cheap-seats; after the pilot, the "full-fare" business executive is nowadays the most important person on the plane. Airlines in the United-States have earmarked $2-Billion this year to upgrade amenities for their highest-paying regulars. The airlines are focusing on three specific areas: Giving long-haul passengers a full night's sleep - Stimulating their taste buds at mealtime - Providing "escapes" from the chaos of airport terminals. For the rest of us who's free meals, leg room and blankets were long ago stripped-away; it was always a special place on the other side of "the curtain". Now, it's getting even cushier.

THERE IS AN UPSIDE TO THE ILLEGALS: The Roman-Catholic Church of the United-States is being pulled back from dwindling attendance, closed houses of worship, and a shortage of  worshippers, practitioners and pastors. The continued growth of America's Hispanic population is in the process of changing the U.S. Catholic Church more than any other institution in the country along our southern border.  More than one-third of practicing Catholics in the United-States now claim  Hispanic Heritage, that's more than tripple the 10% reported in a survey conducted in 1987. The majority have a Mexican ancestry and a large number are recent arrivals. The feast of "Santa Maria de Guadalupe," the Blessed Virgin who tradition claims appeared to Aztec peasant Juan Diego in 1531, now ranks with Christmas and Easter as the most popular events at most churches.

MAPLE SYRUP BARBECUE SAUCE: The Bouchard family of Frenchville, Maine along the Northern New Brunswick border has made a name for itself amongst Acadian / 'Cajun' descendants as purveyors of buckwheat flour. The flour is the essential element for the local delicacy known as "Ployes"- a flatbread-like pancake. Another St. John River valley transplant born in nearby Fort Kent, Maine, Pete Morin, is now marketing "Maple Leaf Red Dipping Sauces". Hand-written recipes from a long ago abandoned family restaurant are at the base of the "secret sauce". A new more powerful "Rocket Sauce" is now being developed. Morin told a local journalist recently that the "rocket" will put your (chicken) wings into orbit without shooting flames out your arse! Must be the maple syrup at work.

TO THE VICTOR...THE SPOILS

Though mid twentieth century movies tried to romanticize America's civil war - "Gone With The Wind" (1939) / "Shenandoah" (1965) to name a couple of the more prominent - It comes as little surprise that events this year marking the sesquicentennial of the war between the States have been somewhat muted. So far just a few solemn events in Virginia, South Carolina and Georgia have noted the passing of the 150 years since the United States was ripped apart. It seems Americans are somewhat reluctant to scratch open the scabs over scars which in many respects remain fresh.

Not so here in Canada where before the defeat of the Government in April, Heritage Canada had earmarked a $100-Million budget for next year's events and celebrations marking the bi-centennial of the War of 1812. Fresh from this month's majority re-election in Parliament the Conservatives have indicated they will re-introduce the budget before the end of May; which this time will pass likely unamended.

A recent survey of American citizens commissioned by the Association For Canadian Studies(ACS); a group based in Montreal; has been measuring cross-border attitudes ahead of the government's kick-start of the War of 1812 celebrations. A spokesman for the Association claims the bicentennial will provide a good opportunity to explore the important "interconnectedness" of our histories and how we've evolved together.

It's clear that the Federal Government through Heritage Canada and many various other historical and parks organizations it will fund, wants to attract as many American tourists as possible north of the border to join in this momentous event 200 years in the making. War remembrances tend to emphasize patriotic fervour. Our American cousins and business partners, still smarting from the "draw" of the Korean Conflict; the loss of Vietnam; and their interminable War on Terror in all of its manifestations (Iraq; Afghanistan; Libya; Yemen - take your pick) may be dazed, shocked and confused to learn they LOST the War of 1812.

That's not just a result of America's general decline in educational standards; but it is also because of the nature of the self-centered cultural influence of the mass media of the United States in all of its own manifestations from news organizations; its print and new media; and of course the film and television industry.

Ironically Heritage Canada's plan to shovel-out as much as $100-Million tax dollars to springboard a renewed dialogue with the United-States using the War of 1812 as catalyst arrives in the very breath that our own cultural industry is threatened with potentially massive funding cuts.

Under the pretext of reining-in it's $50-Billion annual deficit Mr. Harper's government indicated last fall that it intends to institute a strategic review of spending in all departments, including the CBC, Telefilm Canada and the Canada Council. And the Finance Minister, Jim Flaherty, reiterated just this week that much of his deficit will be reduced by identifying departmental efficiencies. Before this month's Federal Election tensions between the industry's regulator; the CRTC; were already at a fever pitch all time high over "new media" regulations and funding, and the licensing of the right-wing "Sun News" channel to name just a couple of troubling issues.

Despite appearances singing Beatles' tunes during the most recent election campaign; Prime Minister Harper and for the most part the opposition politicians as well; steered clear of Canada's "cultural debate" in sharp contrast with Harper's infamous outburst of the 2008 campaign that ordinary people didn't care much about the rich artists who attend ritzy galas.

If in the upcoming "new" budget deliberations, it's a toss-up between spending $100-Million to promote the defeat of our American friends in the War of 1812 or saving Canada's beloved diverse culture and its supporting industry - I vote for the latter. The Federal Government can take solace in letting our iconic coffee giant "Tim Hortons" do the talking for us down south of the border. At no cost to the Canadian government our "Timmy's" has just recently re-branded itself in the United States as "Tim Hortons Cafe and Bake Shop(s)" and sales in the first 3 months of the year shot-up five percent. That is clearly a culture understood in America.

NOT EXACTLY WORDS OF WISDOM...

In a published editorial this week, the venerable "Globe & Mail" newspaper, the country's oldest daily, offers-up a lexicon of political words that Canadians may want to banish from their vocabulary in 2011. These include "coalition", "long-form" (as in census), and "strategic assets" (as in Potash Corporation).

The list and many others like it are anecdotal evidence of the annual holiday period when journalists and their editors find themselves frequently desperate for items of worthwhile "news" value to fill column inches or network broadcasts.

I can relate: As a young journalist several decades ago I worked the early morning, (4:00 AM) news shift in the New Brunswick newsroom of the CBC. I developed over time a long distance telephone relationship with an obscure "psychic" on the northeast Atlantic coast of the province, on whom I could always count for her annual predictions to fill my first New Year's Day broadcast at 6:00 AM and ad nausea every hour, on the hour, thereafter. Besides her foresight (such as it was) and an occasional overnight fire or tragic auto accident, there wasn't anything else.

I could always count on my "source" to prognosticate on the well being of the Hatfield Government; its rascally Minister of Tourism, Charlie Van Horne; or the success/failure of the "Bricklin" automobile venture. - Lest I digress: If any of those named mean anything to you; you know of which decade I speak - Others may "Google" at their leisure.

Since the almost obscure start of its list in 1976; a small university in the northern-most part of Michigan has established a worldwide reputation; the envy of far greater institutions, politicians and prognosticators for its annual listing of: "WORDS BANISHED FROM THE QUEEN'S ENGLISH FOR MIS-USE, OVER USE OR GENERAL USELESSNESS."

In fact, Lake Superior State University (LSSU) in Sault Ste Marie, Michigan is the smallest public university in the state. But, the reputation of its "words list" attracts more attention at the New Year each winter than most any other event on the continent. Once the "banished words" are made public on December 31, LSSU staffers and public relations personnel will field telephone calls and grant interviews to every major world news organization with an English language broadcast, including Xinhua in China as well as the more conventional CNN, BBC, Thompson-Reuters, CBC and NPR; and major publications including Newsweek, the New York Times, the Washington Post, Los Angeles Times, as well as The Colbert Report and numerous others.

Amazingly good and absolutely free publicity for a small town university known best for its academic programs in Environmental Sciences, Fisheries and Wild-Life Management, and: Because of the savvy timing of an annual tongue-in-cheek compilation of abused and misused words and phrases, recognized around the globe.

Words and phrases outlawed in previous years by LSSU have included: My Bad (98), Free Gift (88), and Live Audience (83) - Doubtless, you may relate to the 2010 list of banished words which included: Shovel-Ready; Tweet; Too Big To Fail; App; (and) Stimulus.

The much anticipated 2011 list of fifteen "Words Banished From The Queen's English For Mis-Use, Over-Use Or General Uselessness" will be published this Friday, December 31 - The world's media awaits!

WHAT IF ICARUS FLEW TOO CLOSE TO SUN NEWS?

We've chatted about this previously: Whilst French Canada, primarily Quebec, has a well developed muscular "star" system in Television, Movies, Music and even Sports; English Canadians, overwhelmed by the cultural Juggernaut of the "star" system from south of the border, most frequently must seek-out their own "icons" in the most unlikely places.

It is thus that Canadians who share the same Anglo-Saxon cultural ancestry as our American partners, and in the absence of their own home-grown "star" system, have sought to identify separately and culturally with Canadian politicians, and more recently with angry and increasingly bitter personalities, many of whom are beyond their "best before" expiration date...Come to think of it: In Canada these days bitter "has beens" and our politicians are frequently one and the same - Toronto Mayor, Robert Bruce 'Rob' Ford; and ex OPP Commissioner Julian Fantino, being among their latest manifestations - I digress.

Prime Minister Stephen Harper and former NHL Coach Don Cherry further blurred the line between politics and Hollywood North most recently: Harper fronting an Ottawa based rock band (Herringbone) and belting-out "Jumpin' Jack Flash" among several other "golden oldies" at a Tory caucus Christmas Party and; Cherry in an unprovoked public outburst against "bicycle riding pinkos" in a speech delivered as guest of honour at the fore mentioned Rob Ford inaugural as Mayor of the country's largest city. To say nothing of Cherry's outrageous shilling for Julian Fantino, the Tory candidate in the Federal riding by-election of the affluent Toronto suburb of Vaughan, which Fantino won on November 29th with 49.1% of the votes.

Much of which is leading to widespread speculation that Cherry will abandon his cherished "Hockey Night in Canada" sinecure, and jump ship to "Sun News," the Fox News lookalike set to hit the airwaves next March, and become a Canadian Glenn Beck clone. All of which may save the CBC the embarrassment of throwing Cherry overboard for grossly violating the Corporation's code of ethics for its broadcast professionals...as opinionated as Don Cherry may be.

If Don Cherry were to abandon "Hockey Night in Canada" for a starring role on "Sun News" it might well be a blessing in disguise for the CBC. In recent years the Corporation has "bent-over" repeatedly to distance itself from the former coach's immature outbursts, giving-in to fears that any blue-collar backlash from firing the former NHL coach would play right into the hands of the Harper Government which is no friend of the CBC; and which, most importantly, controls the purse strings that keep the struggling and frequently moribund Mothercorp alive. Perhaps adding a metaphor will illustrate the debate, and digress further - Throwing Don Cherry and his "neon" wardrobe overboard might have seriously jeopardized many of CBC-TV's ratings underwater dwellers who would get electrocuted in the process.

As for the seriously "Right O' Centre" cable television news channel upstart which will see the light of day early in March - About the same time Mr. Harper is contemplating a Federal election to defend next spring's budget - It could surely greatly benefit from the publicity of a Cherry move to its stable of eccentrics just as the 2011 NHL playoffs get underway...and English Canada could be on the verge of acquiring a Hollywood-style "star" system it doesn't quite justly deserve. Could a "TMZ North," with Ezra Levant be much further behind? - "I'm a lawyer!" - Oh, the Humanity!

"ZOMBIFICATION" - THAT'S THE NAME OF THE GAME!

It may sound reasonably close to the title of the Bobby Darin's 1962 hit "Multiplication - That's the Name Of The Game"; but not quite. To his many fans, Darin who died tragically at age 37 in 1973, personified the American Dream. Though born at the height of the Great Depression from a working class Brooklyn, N.Y. family, he rose to substantial success and fame by crossing over through many musical genres from rock to ballads to standards.

Whether they're fans of Bobby Darin or others and however you may wish to define it; many would now suggest that there is not much of the American Dream that is left anymore. New York Times columnist, Bob Herbert summed-up things recently: "Wherever you choose to look - at the economy and jobs, the public schools, the budget deficits, the nonstop warfare overseas - you'll see a country in sad shape."

There is a sense amongst middle Americans that their standards of living are in decline and parents of my generation increasingly believe their offspring will inherit a bad deal. And, "Zombies" (it seems) are poised to bear witness to America's rapid 21st Century decline.

Regulars and followers of cartoonist/political satirist Garry Trudeau; "Doonesbury", will have already noted his recent fixation on the Zombie Game Internet application. Trudeau is just the most recent manifestation of young America's obsession with Zombies - Zombies are "In": As someone recently suggested - "This cannot possibly be a good sign!"

It's hard to track down just where, how, and when the phenomenon started. Some have claimed however that it was the launch of the 2003 black and white comic book series "The Walking Dead" which kicked things off. But if manifestations of horror are a reflection of the world around us; it's fairly easy to see where things are going...



Depending on one's prism of political persuasions and perceptions either American society of "normal" people is being threatened by a cadre of bloodsuckers. Or the United States is teetering on the edge of an era of Zombie politics - To wit: Uninfected humans have to band together and do..."whatever it takes to protect themselves against the irrational undead." As Gail Collins of the New York Times wrote recently.

Portent of our fate and future or not; America's fascination with the "undead" has been growing at grotesque speed - The "Walking Dead" comic book phenom has spawned a television series of the same name which launched on AMC Network on Halloween and is now touted as the hottest new show on television. The first airing on October 31 was viewed by 5-million people in the United-States; the highest ever audience for AMC which has been broadcasting for 26 years. It scored 85/100 (Universal Acclaim) on Meta-Critic an aggregator of TV critics' comments. Based on the success, AMC tripled the initial order of 5 first year episodes, and has ordered-up 13 episodes for 2011.
There's talk now of importing the BBC series "Dead Set" to North America, and the best-seller "Pride, Prejudice and Zombies" is about to made into a movie.

It seems that so far Canadians (may) have somehow avoided contagion from the mutants, the undead and mass zombifications emanating from south of our border. It is probably time to take the appropriate cautionary measures. Perhaps the government should re-cycle those left-over H1N1 (swine-flu) Vaccines into an antidote against this looming infectious epidemic.

HAVE ROOM IN THERE FOR JIMI AND JANIS TOO?

There is tradition dating back a couple of centuries in American politics that an outgoing Head of Government grants clemency to, or pardons "worthy" convicted felons. For instance, it was just shy of 2 years ago that the relationship between the former President, George W. Bush; and his White House partner, V.P. Dick Cheney; iced-up after the President refused to pardon "Scooter" Libby (Cheney's assistant) who'd been convicted of lying to a Grand Jury.

Exiting Florida Governor, Charlie Crist, is causing quite a stir of emotions in his home state with a proposal to grant a "posthumous pardon" to Jim Morrison, who fronted the iconic 1960's rock band: "The Doors". Lest I digress - Mr. Crist, is the Republican Governor who followed Jeb Bush in the Florida Legislature. He turned "independent" last summer and ran for the U.S. Senate earlier this month, and was defeated.

Those of my generation and enthusiasts of Rock n' Roll history will recall the Gladiator like Miami confrontation following a March 1, 1969 "Doors" concert, which ultimately pitted fans of the Sixties counter-culture against those of the "Mainstream" then spear-headed by Miami born orange juice pitch-woman - Anita Bryant.

History lesson you query? - No question that the concert was a ruckus from the git' go! (That's about all anyone has ever agreed on) It was alleged that an intoxicated Jim Morrison..."stumbled through 'Light My Fire' and 'Break On Through', taunted the crowd and threatened to expose himself before fans mobbed the stage." The melee was subsequently investigated by a Miami Crime Commission and six arrest warrants were issued against Morrison for "lewd and lascivious behavior (sic)." A report in the Miami Herald newspaper having claimed that the rock icon..."appeared to simulate masturbation during his performance."

In its wake, three weeks later, songstress Anita Bryant, Comedian Jackie Gleason and "boy band" (1950's version) "The Lettermen" staged a "Rally For Decency" attended by an estimated 30,000 high-schoolers and their parents. In a letter to the rally, President Richard Nixon, told organizers they were showing..."admirable initiative."

A year later, Jim Morrison was convicted on two misdemeanor (sic) charges: Profanity and Indecent Exposure. He was fined $500 and sentenced to 6 months in jail. Morrison was appealing both convictions when he died in Paris at aged 27 on July 3, 1971.

Well passions run deep, and they're threatening to erupt once more down in the (very) Deep-South. Governor Crist has confirmed to no less than the "New York Times" that he..."will submit Morrison's name to a state clemency board next month." Though it's viewed by many as the culmination of a four-decades long battle. Others see it differently: A stoking of the socially polarizing forces which continue to afflict Americans.

At stake (it seems) is the underlying belief that not only were the charges against Morrison "trumped-up," but that they were used to discredit the emerging counter- culture which ultimately led to the subsequent turbulent times of the War in Viet-Nam, the racial tensions and riots, and beyond. Times from which the United States have hardly begun the emerge. It seems that as a parting gesture Governor Crist is choosing to align himself with that interpretation.

Stay tuned!

TAKEN FOR GRANTED

Admittedly Newfoundland and Labrador Premier Danny Williams is not a great friend of the Province of Quebec, nor of Prime Minister Stephen Harper. Newfoundlanders have been smarting for 50 years over Hydro Quebec's hoodwink of Joey Smallwood over the Churchill Falls hydro project back in 1961.

In a most recent example on Wednesday; Premier Williams told the St. John's Board of Trade - "The rest of the country, and even Quebec itself, is finally admitting that it has been getting away with highway robbery in Canada for decades."

Canadians are generous. Just this week for example the British-based "Charities Aid Foundation" ranked us third in the world for generosity according to its survey of 153 countries for the willingness of their citizens to donate both time and money to worthy causes. Australia and New Zealand tied for first, Canada and Ireland tied next in line. The United States was next along with Switzerland.

But as Premier Williams' observation suggests; the problem in this country is the too frequent perception that our own money is spent not too wisely to buy the votes of any given segment of the population. It happens all the time at every level of the representatives we elect to municipalities, provincial legislatures and yes: The Federal Parliament...Sometimes it's just too blatant and flagrant to ignore.

Politicians from the lowest to the highest levels of government somehow manage to ignore that on the other side of the equation there is only ONE taxpayer: Us! - More galling and insulting, they use the money to advance their own "benevolence." Their ultimate goal being to stuff the ballot box with votes bought using the same dollars. - We fall for this? It works!

The Federal Liberals may have claimed the noblest of all vocations; "Saving the Country" for the excesses of the sponsorship scandal; but the tactics, methods and goals were the same anyhow. The politicians behind the current Economic Action Plan -Noble cause; "Saving the Economy" use the exact same ploy insisting that the billions of our stimulus dollars being doled-out are conditional on the project managers putting up the Government's (sponsorship) signage. "Secret" memos obtained by the Canadian Press note that the signage is so critical that funding contracts hold-back 20% until photographic proof of sign installation has been filed. Dear God!

Little wonder that faced with a weak and virtually ineffective opposition in Parliament it's the media which has been howling (summer long)to call attention to the Conservative Government's stumbles which; I noted in an earlier post, are too frequently "self-inflicted."

As the Parliamentary Chess challenge is about to resume there's growing anecdotal evidence that the government is looking for an obvious "elegant" way to sink at least another $200 Million (or so) of "our" dollars financing an NHL hockey arena in Quebec City. The trick being to avoid making us (rightly) conclude that it's a Quebec buy-off, Conservative style. It would be a sorry day if the case for the defence were to raise the specter of the Liberal sponsorships.

The Prime-Minister travels to Quebec City next week and Mayor Regis LaBeaume fully expects walking away from his meeting with Stephen Harper, grant-in-hand, at least equalling Premier Jean Charest's provincial commitment of $160-million. Spin doctors obviously at the ready to sell the rest of the country a "nose stretcher" about funding - "Really for a multi-purpose municipal amphi-theatre which (among other things) will bolster any future Quebec City Winter Olympic bid". Quebec City was a Canadian runner-up to the Vancouver bid a decade ago. Observers point out that one really disquieting matter about the plan is that the team owner of the proposed NHL franchise in Quebec City (and primary tenant of the arena) is billionaire Pierre Karl Peladeau. If the name sounds familiar: Mr. Peladeau owns Sun Media Television, the right-wing news channel with an application now before the CRTC.

And, if Winnipeg and Manitobans cry "fowl" over their own NHL Franchise "in the wings" for lack of a decent arena, they should be reminded that there are just 14 Parliamentary seats in Manitoba and Quebec has 75. That tactic worked for Brian Mulroney in '86 when the Military CF-18 maintenance contract was yanked-out of Winnipeg in favour of Montreal. We buy this? It works! Or simply: - They'll be flipped-off Trudeau style and told: "Mangez de la merde!"

REVISITING THE GENDER GAP

I grew-up in the 1950's. In as much as changes were well deserved and long overdue; some of my male contemporaries might be tempted to argue that in the intervening decades men have assumed a less historically comfortable place in the struggles over gender equality.

There has been little backlash if any, but at least here in North America, it's no longer quite the "Man's World" which existed in the immediate aftermath of the 20th Century's two world wars. Everyone, male and female, has coped in their own best way with the sexual revolution, the gender gap, wage parity, the glass ceiling, two wage-earner families, and increasingly 3 car garages.

Two generations later, and on a far much softer scale however, I am sensing somewhat of a testosterone fueled revolution...or at the very least a rising level of assertiveness amongst men. One which is beyond the occasional pedagogical discussion over the place of boys in today's modern school classroom and/or social environment.

I am not quite sure when it launched. But, the return of 21st Century softer versions of the North American appropriately named "Muscle Cars" of the 60's - The Camaro, The Charger, The Mustang - is probably as good a place to start as any. In fact, in a related development the Chrysler Corporation is tackling the "soccer-mom" image of its iconic Mini Vans with what it calls the "Man Van", a special version of the Dodge Caravan designed to appeal to men, which it plans to roll-out later this fall. One company representative told the Wall Street Journal..."it's one those vehicles that gets people talking and heads turning."

Then of course there is the phenomenon of the "smell like a man" campaign which was launched simultaneously on TV and on the Internet during February's Vancouver Winter Olympic Games. In one of the commercials actor Isaiah Mustafa, the "new" Old Spice Guy declares that women "should smell like butterflies and salt water taffy", and men like "jet fighters and punching." Mustafa by the way is a former Seattle Seahawks NFL Receiver, and his cheesy commercials have: a) Magically revived a brand - Old Spice - closely associated with grandpa's after war generation; b) Already made many additional millions for Proctor & Gamble; and c) Caused competitors and more importantly the advertising industry to stand-up and take notice.

Hitching unto that bandwagon is "Canadian Tire", once the most "Male" of Canadian icons. Corporate President and CEO Stephen Wetmore told his Board of Directors recently that Canadian Tire has strayed too far from its core business. Though automotive needs are not an exclusive male preserve, Canadian Tire is going to return to prominence in Formula One, NASCAR, and Indy racing which are pretty much male dominated. In Mr. Wetmore's words: "In short, automotive is the cornerstone of our business, and now were going to act like it."



Perhaps on a smaller scale, but just as important North Americans have witnessed the emergence of male dominated television networks which are not only skewed to heavy sports programming, such as 'Spike TV'; as well as radio stations and programs with testosterone heavy content: 'DAWG-FM' in Ottawa; and the 'Manhole Morning Show' in Regina among the more recent examples.

None of these changes will affect or deter from the progress of the last two generations in the struggle towards forging a more appropriate recognition of gender equality. In fact the new assertiveness may help. And that, as Martha Stewart might say, is a good thing.

PRAISING MARION...

As the Buzz over her appearance as host of "Saturday Night Live" rises to its crescendo, Marion "Betty" White says she's "scared to death".

The 88 year-old comedic actor and former television host; this Saturday will become the oldest person to host NBC's iconic late night "live" gag fest. I am happy to note having been among the first to gather courage to sign the FaceBook campaign: "Betty White to Host SNL (Please)" which launched after her "Snickers" commercial co-staring Abe Vigoda aged 89 (Det.Fish on Barney Miller) became a hit and a leading highlight of the 2010 Superbowl football game.

Saturday Night Live producers relented, announcing on March 11th, that Ms White would host the program this Saturday. But, it took some doing. Of the FaceBook campaign, She's been recently quoted: "I couldn't believe it. At first I thought they were putting me on. I told my agent please say thank-you, I appreciate it, but no thank-you." At last count (a few minutes ago) there were 507,587 signatures on that FaceBook page.

Betty White says she's been "blown-away" by all the attention. Along with Rue McLanahan, the two are the only surviving members of the cast of "The Golden Girls" which aired from 1985 to 1992, and is a mainstay in re-runs on several cable television channels the world over. Previously she'd played Sue Ann Niven on the "Mary Tyler Moore Show."

I expect there will be a boost in ratings this weekend for Lorne Micheal's SNL, which wraps its 35th season on May 15th. (Youngster Alec Baldwin, aged 52, will host that one.) As for Betty White and the rest of us who've seen more of the 20th Century then we will ever see of the 21st...I just hope we can stay awake long enough to watch.

IT'S A MONEY THING!

Sometime it's helpful for one's perspective to view an important Canadian issue from the American side of the border. The Winter Olympic Games which are about to get underway in Vancouver will dominate and colour our national outlook for the next several weeks.

Not so here in the USA; (I might add) where despite NBC's staggering $820-million bid for the Olympic TV rights; this weekend's Miami football Super Bowl, and the February 14th NASCAR, Daytona 500, are the dominant concerns of sports enthusiasts...I digress!

These Vancouver Games, and all the Olympic Games through the end of the 20th Century and into the current millennium; are all about money. A far cry from the intent and the spirit (and surely a massive disappointment) of the "father of the modern games", Baron Pierre de Coubertin.

And, not just about NBC's $820-million bid for the American TV rights. In a partnership venture CTV and Rogers Communications (Mortal enemies though they be in the cable fee for broadcast dispute at the CRTC) reportedly outbid the CBC by as much as $50-million for the Olympic rights in Canada, and now can't find enough sponsors to pay their monstrous reportedly $150-million bill.

Meantime the foreclosed owners of Intrawest ULC which controls the Whistler-Blackcomb Ski Resort, a main Olympic venue, are threatening to sue the Government of Canada for $90-million for "loss of business" during the games. Just where did we lose our way and abandon the "spirit" of friendly international competition?

There is another rivalry that will not be televised starting next week. It is not by accident that Chicago finished "dead last" to Rio de Janeiro in October for the 2016 Summer Games despite President Obama's personal lobbying efforts for the hometown. Money is at the root of that evil also. The issue is one that has implications for most national Olympic Committees, including the COC (Candian Olympic Committee) based in Toronto.

The Olympic brand in each country is owned by the individual national committees. But, it's the IOC (International Olympic Committee) that brokers the auctions for each country's television rights and doles out just a percentage of the gains. For instance the USOC is getting just $105-million of the $820-million paid by NBC for the US rights to the Vancouver games. When that American national Olympic Committee (USOC) announced last July that it was establishing its own "Olympic Cable TV Channel", the International Committee saw the announcement as a declaration of war and punished the Americans with the Chicago defeat.

Greed it seems mocks the spirit of the games, and tarnishes the very lustre of the Olympic Medals and the movement they represent. When will we learn!

JUST ANOTHER OPINION

Sometime a casual observers' opinion helps shed light on utterly complex issues. Thus I weigh-in with detached observations on a topic which may animate many "hot stove" discussions over the coming long Canadian winter.

I am not a rabid N.H.L. fan...but to the degree that I am Canadian, hockey is integral to my birthright. The soon to be published biography, "I'd Trade Him Again", of then Edmonton based millionaire Peter Pocklington, specifically his description of Toronto "Maple Leaf" owner, Harold Ballard: "He was a crazy old bugger"...as well as several other "hockey" books set for publication this fall as the N.H.L. season gets underway in earnest have me crystal balling the future of our game.

In this first decade of the 21st Century it seems to me there has been no more intense rivalry in the game than the apparent dislike between hockey's Czar, the Commissioner Gary Bettman, and Ontario billionaire wannabee team owner, Jim Balsillie...and, I don't know why? I think though that the most recent confrontation between these two men over the sale of the crumpling Phoenix "Coyotes" has significantly increased the pressure on Mr. Bettman to (or, at least be seen to) be open to additional franchises on Canadian soil.

Although it was more about the November 1 re-election of outgoing Quebec City Mayor, Regis Labeaume, than hockey's Canadian future; Friday's meetings in New York involving the Mayor, Quebec millionaire, Marcel Aubut, and Bettman may have given the Commissioner some short term pressure relief. Unlike Mr. Balsillie's failed three previous bids for Hamilton's "Copps Coliseum", Aubut needs to build a new arena in "La vieille Capitale" before the N.H.L. will consider a serious bid for this 7th Canadian franchise.

Since he came on scene in 1993, Bettman has been consistently accused of having an anti-Canadian agenda evidenced by his unwavering efforts to "Americanize" our game. He's blamed for promoting the moves of the Winnipeg "Jets" to Phoenix; and the Quebec 'Nordiques" to Denver. And, for boosting the number of U.S. franchises by six additional teams.

Lest I digress...Mr. Bettman learned the business at the hugely successful National Basketball Association (N.B.A.) where he'd been Senior Vice-President and General Counsel. Ironically many argue that basketball too is a Canadian game invented by Almonte, Ontario born and McGill University educated, James Naismith in 1891, three years after the 6 team A.H.A. (the N.H.L. predecessor) was formed in Montreal.

With each of his successive failed confrontations with Bettman: Pittsburg (06), Nashville (07), Phoenix (09); Jim Balsillie has intensified the pressure from north of the American border for the Commisioner to either respond with an additional (or additional) Canadian franchise(s); or else explain why the country and fans that gave birth to both game and league should be ignored and excluded.

As a nation we are passionate about the game. I suspect one could even argue that the National Hockey League is an ever increasingly rare element which unites both of Canada's founding cultures. Except for an apparent conflict of personalities and vanity between Mr(s) Bettman and Balsillie it's difficult to rationalize why a Hamilton, Ontario based franchise would not be hugely successful. And - As is becoming obvious Quebec City and Winnipeg aren't far behind in demanding their own rightful seats at the N.H.L. Directors' table.

The 2009 N.H.L. season is just now underway. There 974 professional players in the league this year; 52.3% (509) are Canadian. No Canadian will ever insist on equal representation with the Americans. With little contrary evidence to disclose; it seems fair and just for the birthplace of the league and game to once again assume its more equitable, respectful and rightful place in the roaster of teams. It seems to me "that" face-off is near well into overtime and the puck is squarely aimed at Mr. Bettman's goal posts. Time to "shoot and score!"