ONE IF BY LAND, TWO IF BY SEA

End of another month; a good time to clear-up accumulated tidbits from under the corners of the desk blotter:

SOMEONE MAY GET IT RIGHT (EVENTUALLY): Investigators poring through the ruins of the lost Mayan civilization of Mexico claim they've uncovered a "second" reference to the Apocalypse predicted for the winter's Solstice next year, December 21, 2012. Experts had previously claimed the existence of just one reference, on a stone tablet uncovered from the ruins of Tortuguero on the Gulf coast. But over the weekend, Mexico's National Institute of Anthropology confirmed the existence of another reference amongst stone carvings at the Mayan ruins of Comalcalco in southern Mexico. - It was just over a month ago that California based evangelical broadcaster Harold Camping scored "0 for 3" when once again the world refused to end as he'd three times before predicted. After his initial "miscalculation" in the 1990's, the Reverend Camping claimed (as God is my witness) that May 21, 2011 would be Judgement Day. - Then, when it did not, he said the actual day of reckoning would be October 21: That day too passed without incident. Someone is bound to score...

ENJOY THAT MIDDLE SEAT IN COACH: First-Class and Business-Class passengers make-up just about 8% of all airline traffic; but they account for almost one-third of revenues for an industry which is once again profitable after languishing for more than a decade. Ten years  which claimed many of the carriers through bankruptcy. Though the airlines still manage to squeeze the very last penny from the vast majority who fly the cheap-seats; after the pilot, the "full-fare" business executive is nowadays the most important person on the plane. Airlines in the United-States have earmarked $2-Billion this year to upgrade amenities for their highest-paying regulars. The airlines are focusing on three specific areas: Giving long-haul passengers a full night's sleep - Stimulating their taste buds at mealtime - Providing "escapes" from the chaos of airport terminals. For the rest of us who's free meals, leg room and blankets were long ago stripped-away; it was always a special place on the other side of "the curtain". Now, it's getting even cushier.

THERE IS AN UPSIDE TO THE ILLEGALS: The Roman-Catholic Church of the United-States is being pulled back from dwindling attendance, closed houses of worship, and a shortage of  worshippers, practitioners and pastors. The continued growth of America's Hispanic population is in the process of changing the U.S. Catholic Church more than any other institution in the country along our southern border.  More than one-third of practicing Catholics in the United-States now claim  Hispanic Heritage, that's more than tripple the 10% reported in a survey conducted in 1987. The majority have a Mexican ancestry and a large number are recent arrivals. The feast of "Santa Maria de Guadalupe," the Blessed Virgin who tradition claims appeared to Aztec peasant Juan Diego in 1531, now ranks with Christmas and Easter as the most popular events at most churches.

MAPLE SYRUP BARBECUE SAUCE: The Bouchard family of Frenchville, Maine along the Northern New Brunswick border has made a name for itself amongst Acadian / 'Cajun' descendants as purveyors of buckwheat flour. The flour is the essential element for the local delicacy known as "Ployes"- a flatbread-like pancake. Another St. John River valley transplant born in nearby Fort Kent, Maine, Pete Morin, is now marketing "Maple Leaf Red Dipping Sauces". Hand-written recipes from a long ago abandoned family restaurant are at the base of the "secret sauce". A new more powerful "Rocket Sauce" is now being developed. Morin told a local journalist recently that the "rocket" will put your (chicken) wings into orbit without shooting flames out your arse! Must be the maple syrup at work.

WHAT WOULD JESUS CUT?

It is increasingly apparent as the un-official campaigning for the 2012 run at the Presidency ramps-up in the United States that evangelical Protestantism and extreme fiscal conservatism have somehow become entangled. The front-runner in the current round of Republican Party candidates seeking the party's nomination, the Governor of Texas Rick Perry, has been focussing on politics, prayer and redemption from his one pulpit.

Pundits denounce this brand of  Christianity as focussed on fear, and in Governor Perry's case an abuse of power.  Harsh critics say this most fundamentalist of born-again credo seems so strict that if the alternative to raising taxes involves gutting services such as umemployment benefits in a time of severe joblessness, basic medical care, food stamps or shelter for the homeless - well, so be it!

Perhaps there were elements of truth; certainly an air of surrealism on Monday during the CNN/Tea Party Express debate in Tampa, Florida when the moderator, Wolf Blitzer, asked a hypothetical question about whether a man without health insurance should be provided medical care in the event of an accident - "Are you saying that society ahould just let him die?" Blitzer asked. - Before the candidate could reply several shouts of "yeah!" came from the audience.

Reporting on the Tea-Party sponsored Tampa debate, the Canadian Press  noted: "It was the second Republican debate in less than a week to feature such a show-stopper from the audience. Last week in California, Rick Perry got the most boisterous cheers of the night when he noted proudly that 234 people had been executed in Texas in the 11 years he's been governor."  Tongue set firmly in cheek, a liberal commentor Tweeted: "Given all the applause for death in the last two GOP debates, the Grim Reaper would be a very strong candidate.

The politics of the United States are clearly divided, poisoned and increasingly strident. A discord which doesn't bode well in dealing with the myriad of multiplying issues and problems the country is facing. Mobilizing a nation in prayer, quiet contemplation and reflection  to seek the legislative wisdom to make the right choices and decisions is one thing. - Throwing God into the middle of this poisoned debate is a whole other matter which (I am frankly not sure) even He in His infinite wisdom would approve.

Canada isn't immune to the creepism of extreme-right fundamentalism disguised as evangelical fervour. The divisions and debates south of the border in the name of, and which invoke Jesus and a singular interpretation of The Bible, can easily be imported into our own legislative process. For instance the "National House of Prayers" based in Ottawa claims that it has an on-going..."presence of praying people in the halls of our Federal Government." The group formed about 10 years ago now maintains an "Embassy of Prayer" in Ottawa from which it sends (it says) "intercessors" to attend Question Period, sit-in on sesssions of the Senate, position themselves in Committee meetings and make appointments with individual Parliamentarians.  It's founder, Rob Parker, claims to have received Divine direction to this mission after crying-out to God that Canada had become a "Godless Nation."

The precept of division of State and the worship and practice of religion is fundamental to the healthy process of democracy. Otherwise the danger is in getting the government you've been praying for.

DOOMED...

...And, it's not just about anticipating the results of next week's Federal Election. It is in the nature of our humankind to seek, develop and nurture progress at each and every evolutionary opportunity.

Alas from the coming of the end of the Agrarian Age, (4000 B.C. to 1700 A.D.) each evolutionary progressive step taken by the species has been a progressive step towards destroying the environment which nurtures our very existence.

For at least the last 400 years we have been embarked on a relentless mission to destroy our life giving and life sustaining planet. I am increasingly convinced that humankind has been thus genetically programmed, and that it is in the nature of our very existence, to wreak the havoc which will ultimately destroy the planet. To digress: Forgive me for being crude - Birds don't shit in their nests; but it seems we do! That train (as it were) has left the station.

DAS ENDE DER WELT IST NAH! (The end is nigh!) - Since we have pretty much pillaged and ravaged most of the planet's finite resources to feed our insatiable and greedy need for power and energy. We are now embarked on using high-technology in a relentless process to change the very way humans interact and, for better or worse, there is no turning back from that either. In this Federal Election ironically much has been said and debated about "Vote Mobs" - A concept which began at the University of Guelph as a student response to a rant by Comedian Rick Mercer; which has been spreading from campus to campus across Canada.

South of the border, our cousins from America have advanced the concept to "Crowd Funding." It too is primarily a phenomenon of the web savvy younger generations and it's aims; some good, some questionable; are to raise money "online" by getting as many visitors as possible to donate to a cause, project or venture. The tools of the social Web are evolving to take advantage of our human need to connect, while raising money.

A Psychology Professor at the University of New Brunswick, Lucia Sullivan, recently identified a third element she describes as "desperate texters" - She says:"People who text heavily are probably people who are more needy for a social connection and are using (it) to self-medicate." I digress...

Alas! There's is a high-tech connect between my theory on humankind's evolution and the "End of Time." - Never mind the Doomsday 2012 scenarios inspired by the mysterious Mayan Calendar which ends abruptly on December 21, 2012; nor the avaricious who sell survival seeds and doomsday bunkers. A small sect, headed by 88-year-old Harold Camping, based in Oakland, California with followers across the United-States says the end of time is next month. Mr. Camping claims to have scrutinized the Bible for almost 70 years and says he's developed a mathematical system to interpret prophesies hidden within the "Good Book." When he crunched the numbers he found that the planet's JUDGEMENT DAY, is May 21, 2011 - And; as per Revelation 9:5 - THE END OF THE WORLD, 5 months later, on October 21, 2011.

Never mind that on September 6, 1994 Mr. Camping's followers awaited Christ's return in vain; apparently a mere mis-crunching of the Biblical numbers. But this time be prepared. Just last week as I left Florida to return to Canada the "converted" (albeit in very small numbers) were gathered on street corners to remind that The End is nigh!

Time is short. How, say you, may we buy happiness in the after-life? Apparently salvation is just a credit card swipe away: "High-Tech Tithing!" In Agrarian times people gave God parts of their livelihood - goats, sheep, wheat and barley. Much later, they began plopping money into collection plates. Now, some churchgoers are swiping their cards at machines that look a bit like ATM's. In recent decades places of worship have provided increasing options for tithing and offerings: Links on websites and automatic deductions from bank accounts. Now comes the new twist: Machines called "Giving Kiosk Units" installed in churches by a Georgia company called "SecureGive". - Sleek silver pedestal machines, complete with LED screen, keypad and magnetic strip reader so far installed at more than 325 churches in the United-States.

As predicted; if the end comes before your credit card balance is due next month...you will be saved, and God may never know you didn't pay.

CAPPING OF NOVEMBER TWENTY-TEN

Is it just me, or did somehow the world get turned unto its ears during the month just ended?

If you will, ponder these:

IS THE POPE CATHOLIC? - Prelates of the church during inclement weather have surely worn rubbers. But the 265th Bishop of Rome; Benedict XVI struck a whole new meaning to the term when he reversed hundreds of years of dogma suggesting that condoms are okay when used with a view to preventing sexually transmitted maladies. What next, a blessing of the Sheiks ceremony?

MAY BE THE BEST THING TO HAPPEN TO OBAMA: - Whilst shilling her latest tome: "America By Heart - Reflections on Family, Faith and Flag," darling of the tea-party movement, Sarah Palin, reflected to Barbara Walters that she could "beat" Barack Obama for the Presidency in 2012. It's been a miserable year, and Palin's admission may be the best thing yet for the beleaguered President. Just 19% of Republicans support a Sarah Palin bid for their party's nomination.

MAYBE THEY'VE BEEN TRAINED TOO MUCH: Pretty much everyone in Parliament along with our NATO allies have been in self-congratulatory mood over Prime-Minister Harper's decision to extend Canada's military commitment to Afghanistan beyond our "firm" departure date of July 2011. For the foreseeable future, thereafter our Forces will remain on-site to train the Afghan army. Good heavens; just how much training do these folks need? Harking back to Genghis Khan and the Great Mongol Empire; through the battles for the Silk Road routes; the British Expedition to Tibet; the 9 year war with the Soviets; and the current tilt with the Americans and NATO forces these people have just about defeated every military expedition known to man.

HARD TO FIND A SANE PLACE TO LAND AN AEROPLANE: North Americans are terrified of flying terrorists...so, lets touch their genitals and use scanners that show them naked: That should make em' feel safe; right? As a strategy it's absurd. Fanatics and their followers devise all kinds of bombs for a few hundred dollars, and provoke the world into spasms of security responses costing billions of dollars. When body cavities are perceived as a threat, will passengers be required to submit to MRI's and/or manual probing to board a flight?

BORN AGAIN IN CUBA: A story buzzing around the fringes of the American social media claims that Rapper Tupak Shakur, murdered in Las Vegas in 1996; and pop-icon, Michael Jackson who died last year; are actually alive and living their "golden years" in Castro's Cuba. It may very well be that Elvis invited the two to join him there at Fidel's suggestion.

IF DINOSAURS DID NOT SURVIVE...

That new report published in the United-States which flagged the past decade as the "hottest on record" may signal a last-ditch effort to deal with run away climate change. But, I fear for the outcome of the human generations to whom we are leaving the blue planet.

The 2009 "State of the Climate" report which was released less than a week ago by the U.S. National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration combines data on temperature, humidity, sea levels, sea ice, glaciers and spring snow cover going as far back as 1850 in some cases. It concludes that the calendar decade 2000-2009 was the warmest of the last five decades, and that each of the last three decades was warmer than the one before.

Sadly the report comes at the same time as polls have shown that the public is becoming less worried about climate change despite clear signals that the earth's temperature is likely to blow right through the fragile point of no return. The N.O.A.A. study concludes that overall, the planet's temperature has gone up just a little more than 0.5 degrees Celsius over the past 50 years. It's a generally accepted scientific theory that that earth's warming by 2 degrees Celsius is our species' point of no return.

The United Nations' framework on climate change adopted in Kyoto, Japan in December 1997 is predicated on the +2 Celsius benchmark. Though so far more than 180 countries have ratified the Kyoto Protocol and pledged to hold (and/or reduce) pollution emissions to 1990 levels; twenty years later offenders...North Americans among the worse...aren't anywhere near compliance. Last year's follow-up Summit on climate change in Copenhagen was a dismal failure; and there isn't any much optimism for the next feeble effort which is scheduled in Cancun, Mexico in 5 months.

I don't subscribe to theories about an abrupt "End Of The World". Clearly though there may be some elements of truth to the myths, stories, and tales like those of the "Old Testament": The Flood; The Apocalypse; Armageddon; - Through to the prophesies of Nostradamus - and the theories of the ancient Mayan Calendar which ends at the winter's Solstice in 2012.

Earth provides the only example of an environment which has given rise to the evolution of life, most of which followed the planet's Ice-Age roughly 600-Million years ago. "Snowball Earth's" receding ice-caps allowed life forms to develop; but the continuum of life has been spotty. Over 98% of species that ever lived are now extinct and it's quite unlikely that the human life-form is any more immune from extinction than were the reptilian dinosaurs:



Planet Earth has survived five major Mass Extinction Events the most recent of which led to the disappearance of the dinosaurs and other large reptiles, but spared some small animals such as mammalian life, some of which eventually diversified into our human life form.

It is abundantly clear that humans have influenced Earth in a short time span as no other life form ever had. Call it any name you wish: Earth, Mother Nature, the Blue Planet, God's creation - It will survive. In the evolution of the Human life form though, not only have we placed ourselves at great risk; but we appear to have hastened the planet's next Mass Extinction Event: Our own!

WINGNUTS TO THE RIGHT OF ME...WINGNUTS TO THE LEFT

One "wingnut" tendency is to see things as good and evil; right versus wrong - Which keeps them from seeing reality.

Calgary Herald columnist, Don Martin, writes this week..."there's a particularly bizarre analogy in a just-released book on the rising right in Canada where a youth evangelist with strong connections to the federal Conservatives compares her Christian fan club to the Hitler Youth."

The "just-released book" is 'The Armageddon Factor' - A look at rising Christian nationalism in Canada - by Marci McDonald. Ironically it comes on the same day CSIS Director, Richard Fadden told Members of Parliament's Public Safety Committee, that our spy agency is keeping tabs on about 200 Canadians for possible terrorist links.

The CSIS boss described his targets as..."usually second - or third - generation Canadians who are in some ways relatively well-integrated into Canada..." some of whom are playing senior roles in global terrorist organizations overseas.

In the reference to the youth evangelist with the Christian fan club, Don Martin is quoting, Faytene Kryskow (www.faytene.ca) a British Columbia based militant evangelist who, amongst others claims a close relationship with the President of Treasury Board: The Ontario born and Okanagan Valley Member of Parliament, Stockwell Day. Marci McDonald's book - The Armageddon Factor - calls Stockwell Day "God's Anointed Cabinet Minister." (I am not making this up!)

In an earlier Cabinet post, Mr. Day was Canada's Minister of Public Safety. The CSIS Chief's appearance before Parliament's Public Safety Committee on the same day 'The Armageddon Factor' was published bespeaks a certain delicious irony: To wit Richard Fadden was at the committee to defend how our spy agency has interrogated Afghan detainees to gather information; - Many of whom obviously have radical and perverted religious affiliations. Whether in our Christian Bible's "Garden of Eden" or elsewhere; somehow, sometimes the "nuts" don't seem to gather too far from the tree...

PETER, PINCHAS AND TONY...

If it really matters, Ottawa's arts and cultural community is aghast at Laureen Harper's pull-out of next weekend's fundraising gala at the National Arts Centre.

Mrs. Harper's decision comes following this past week's Saskatoon campaign whistle stop by her husband, Prime Minister Stephen Harper, in which he referred to artists as subsidy-seeking "gala-goers" whose requests for government support doesn't resonate with ordinary Canadians.

Since coming to the National Capital as wife of the Prime Minister, Laureen Harper has been for three years honorary chair of the star studded gala, an Ottawa social calendar highlight, which supports the National Arts Centre.

This past week celebrated actors, authors, musicians and artists from every media, English and French, galvanized against the Conservative Government's plan to slice nearly $50-million in arts funding. On Saturday next, October 4th, international violin virtuoso and NAC Music Director, Pinchas Zucherman, the Arts Centre's President and CEO, Peter Herrndorf, and celebrity guest, crooner, multi-Grammy winner, Tony Bennett, will be left to explain their patron's absence from the sold-out gala.

Obviously sensitive to the Prime-Minister's complaint that the arts community is made-up of "a bunch of people at a rich gala", the Liberal Leader, Stephane Dion, and his wife have also declined the National Arts Centre's invitation...And, meantime Ottawa dress designer, Justina McCaffrey, putting the final touches on Mrs. Harper's exclusive elegant evening gown, although disappointed, says she understands the decision to bow out of the gala.

The designer hopes that Laureen Harper will...."wear this dress many other times at many other occasions because she goes to many black-tie events." Worse case scenario: If the Tories win big in Quebec in this election, Laureen Harper could always wear the dress as a member of the "Chemin des Sanctuaires" pilgrims.

The pilgrims can be best described as a loony group of faithful who for the past three years have left Ottawa in groups of six every day from late May to June to walk to Montreal's St. Joseph's Oratory. A retired Treasury Board employee, Rudy Latreille, is responsible for organizing the 12-day, 234 kilometre event. Maybe the Harper's should give him a call about next spring.

Canuck runs amuck?

Way down south in Polk County, Florida leaders of the "Assemblies of God" have raised the alarm about a faith healing revival now about to enter into its fourth month.

While Democratic candidate Barrack Obama has repudiated his own controversial Illinois pastor, and his opponent John McCain has been criticized for being too cozy with the fundamentalist right, At the centre of this controversy is 32 year-old, Todd Bentley of Abbotsford, B.C.

The "Assemblies of God" is the largest predominantly white Pentecostal fellowship in the United States. Its general superintendent, Reverend George Wood, has expressed concern about claims Todd Bentley has made about encounters with angels named Emma and Wind of Change.

Bentley runs Fresh Fire Ministries in British-Columbia. He is flamboyant and controversial. He presents an unusual figure covered in tattoos and jewelled lip studs. He's an unabashed fan of professional wrestling. Since last April 2nd his giant tent revival which draws more than 30,000 people per week has been pitched next to Lakeland's Sun'n Fun Air Museum, thirty or so miles west of Disney World.

Across North and South America, in fact reaching all the way into Europe, the Lakeland revival has become an international internet phenomenon. Faith healing is a part of the Pentecostal tradition, and a major focus of Todd Bentley's evening services. What has church officials alarmed are the claims that because of prayers offered on their behalf; at least 25 people have been raised from the dead! The alleged resurrections haven't only raised the dead, but many sceptical eyebrows as well.

Mr. Bentley is non-plussed by the criticism he says he's just...."preaching and teaching the gospel and praying and healing the sick." In Florida, the Superintendent of the Peninsular Florida District of the Assemblies of God, Reverend Terry Rayburn, sounds a note of caution: "In a spiritually charged atmosphere, there is the possibility of excesses - astral travel, out-of-body experiences, healings that can't be verified." He told the Lakeland Ledger..."half the people calling our office want me to shut it down, which I would not be inclined to do even if I could. I have no authority over (Bentley)."

On the other hand those who participate in the meetings are convinced the revival is genuine. Last week a couple who travelled from Sheffield, England to attend affirmed the claims that people are saved, people are healed and Jesus is being glorified.

Beware; the signs and the warnings are posted. But if Reverend Bentley is as good as his claims maybe the healing is just what America needs.